Sanity

Exhilarating, this demon suffocating me.
Was I wrong to resist?

Resist this forbidden bliss?
I think I was.

No, I wasn't

Conflictual thoughts plague my mind,
Countering each other out. I don't understand where I'm breaking.

All I know is that I am.

Silence presses down on me.

What's wrong?
What's wrong?
This silence is not my friend.

Whispers are filling my head,
They are not my friends.
Fearing my mind.
Loving my fear.

Asylum,
Take me.
Take me
Away into that place I fear.
To your depths of sanity redeeming qualities.

Forget
Remember
Alone, again.
I have no clue why.
Was it my own doing?

No, I was always alone, always here-
Here in my mind's sanctuary.

They cannot see me.
For my eyes are shadowed by doubts.
I cannot trust.
I will not trust.

Enough.
Enough!

Sanity.
O' sanity.

Please leave me.

Further

I understand less and less.
Why I'm always never giving my best.

Settling for less.

Holding out for everyone else,
Never thinking much about myself.

Sacrifice.

Sacrifice, this time.

Selfish when my family calls-
I do not wish for it at all.

My eyes are blind, blind to all that is never seen.
Yes, this is under laying the darkness that is me.
Always was me.

Self-esteem,
It was never a treasure that belonged to me-
It was an item stolen from me.

I cannot run, I cannot live.
For I am not together in my head.
I'm wishing I was dead.

One minute passes,
Two hours more.
Here I stand.

Not knowing where to go.

Solitude

I am all I see,
In this world there is only me.

Me in this world.

This world that holds me.

Empty, emptiness feelings fill me.
I cannot break.

I was never whole.

I'm not known.

I'm a shadow.
Shadow of what I could be.

I reach out, but no one hears me.

Because in this world.
There is only me.

Anger

Let's talk this over.
Before we're forced down under-
By that anger.

Misdirected rage.
Sick of of all these broken days.
Follow no more.
I resent thee,
for resenting me.

Turn away, turn away-
You did so first.
Shut your mouth, shut your mouth.
That's all you say.

Go away, go away.
Violent child.
My broken down enemy-
No longer.

Friend in need.

Why must you turn from me?

Eternal

Let's say that things were meant to be this way.
That you were always meant to stand in my way.
To beat me down without ever realizing, or pretending that you don't.

It's killing me, you're killing me from the inside out.
You make me scream and cry out to someone, anyone to make you disappear.
You're a thorn in my side.

Breaking my skin.
Holding me down with the venom you pour in.
Dying, dying am I.

Within.

Your never-ending lies.

So full of it are you, so irritating too!
I jest with you, smile with you, laugh with you.
I want to hate you, oh the satin-filled visages I do.

Yet I can't...
Perhaps that is why I cannot escape you.

Slime

My mind is slipping into a state it should never enter.

Reject the warning call,
That one should even have these thoughts as all.

These slime-covered walls surround me.
And the rusted chains on the doors,
Distract me, with their sound.

That alluring call.

"Come to me."

"Fight no longer."

"Join me."

Halfway in...
I pull out,
The vision spins.
I freak out.

Destroy myself!

These slime-filled chambers,
Brushing my skin-
Leaving an imprint within,
Each. Small. Cell.

Evolve, evolve!

Let go-

"Join me."

Escape, I want to, but it is a bittersweet desire.
For it is desire that holds me here.
Desire of slime-covered walls.

Artists

I hold my life in large discretion.
Keeping that which I love a very big
Secret,
Won't let others know.

Won't let it show.
That me, inside- covered another.
The Thick glass of decit.

I'm sinking,
Sinking beneath.

See?

My feet are disappearing.
As I fall.

Fall.

Without knowing why.

I just do.
And I let myself too.
Such is the way of the artist.

We are always falling.

F
a
l
l
i
n
g
.
.
.

Into that state of unknowing.
Because,
We have to,

We need to-

We Must.

That is how life works for us.
That is how it will always...

Work.

For.

Us.

Medium

Knowledge for all and yet little is known.
We continue traveling in sections where little else is realized.
Little else makes sense.

Yes that is what we do,
All we do.
For that is all we can do.

Don't think,
Just write and write.
For all of time, let thou fingers
Be an instrument-
Used for all time.

Write, write, write.
In the differences between now and then.
Return from there to here and back again.

Medium of the pen.
Medium of the vision.
Pay no more attention to your life,
Let it pass by-
Simply pass by.

Drop that attitude, you hold so near.
Drop it and return.
Return here, for us.

Yes, only for us.

Cousin of insanity.

My love,
Forsake that which is known.

Drop, fall, into that which you don't recall.

November

It is near that time again.
That same time when life turns you 'round.
That month where you're down on the ground.
Beggin for life to begin.
Yes, that time...
Again.