Porcelain Smile

Everything I write, every time it's fought.
All I do is smile,
Within the chaos.

A porcelain smile, just a mask.

I have no reason to live in such lies.
I want to show the truth behind it,
That crying face,

Face of desperation-
Face of loss.
Face of fear.
Face of weak-willed brokenness.
By what I hold dear.

It's what I always did-
This feeling of loneliness and anger is nothing in comparison,
I can't live on as a liar forever.

I can't continue to fight battles of others,
Because they can't fight them themselves.
But I do it anyway.
I'm not really here am I?

No, I've been gone for so long,
Too long, I don't know my purpose anymore,
I just fight, so that they live.

When did I become chained to a bitch like this?