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I wanted to hear the voice.
To know who it is that calls to me deep in the crevice of my mind.
I don't get to.

It is not meant to be-
They say.
Without saying a thing at all.

Be blind,
Deaf.

It's healthier for your mind.

Invisible

It should be-
Easier,
Understood.

Calm before the storm.
Silence in thoughts of nothingness.
Not meant to be heard.
For being heard, would make you seen.

You do not want to be seen.
Eyes that do not help with the clarity of the subject.
Turbulence, broken by stability one desires but can never have.

A fool's wish.

That is all.

Moment

It's a feeling in your bones,
Something you do not sense, until it is.

Long awaited whispers of words you remember from a dream,
Nightmare.
Follow it down the halls of blackened walls.
Fire was here.
Fire was there.

Calling to the whispers, hearing only their silent anger.
You tried to reach out,
But they only hide from you-

This is meant to break you,
You want to let it break.
Show yourself from behind the facade of who you once were.
That image is cracked.
You cannot get it back.
Your voice is nothing but a mute mouse's squeak.
Broken in.

You sensed the fire.
You just never felt when it-
The moment you died soon after.

Warning

Truth is all you have-

                It’s all that’s left.
I remember hearing, that warning from so far away.

It was mine, once future now

Present days.

Warning me, not to fall victim to your

Too honest gaze, eyes that could see through me-

This hurt, pain that lingers here,

Is stifling my soul’s rays.

                I want to regret, but I do not want to forget,

Any of it, any of you.

This pain is my breakdown,

That I plunged into.

There s no regretting, only savoring.

Stime

When time stands still,
The world will still move.
Move on it's own in a way of it's own.

Holding onto the very threads that are ripping apart.
Wondering if it is even worth it.
To wonder about such things.
If time stood still,
Would one simply live within it as statue of what once was?

Or would they become something that never was in current time,
But exists outside it.

Drift

Wandering thoughts have led me here.
This place where I do not need to call to anyone dear.
This slowly moving shallow world of dreams.

Can I stay here please?

A world where all is what I know.
And nothing is kept secret from me.
Bloodied hands are before me.

I know what I have done.
This world of dreams is my refuge,
Please no more accusations.
Let me alone in this sweet world.

Where I can be tainted of mind
All on my own.

Past Whispers

This is the night when I remember things,
Remember all that I would like to forget.
Where I hold my head in my hands and say-
I'm sorry,
Sorry for breaking into these pieces everyday.
Sorry for being nothing to myself for such a long time.
I neglected to say that I once loved you,
My past has told me it's not meant to be,
I listen.
It whispers to me.
Love,
Love again.
To not let my heart freeze in its beating.
I will do as it asks,
Learn from it.
Move forward,
And continue, even if it hurts...
To hold only thoughts of you.

Only

I had known,
Known since the very beginning.
That I would only fade into the background, again.
Still, I will not try to stop myself from falling.
This was never about me,
I only wished for happiness.
Right?
I only wished for that-
Only that.
It is my way,
I must continue forward.
Because I cannot trip and stumble in the midst of falling-
I have fallen already.
Now it is a matter of getting up,
Holding my head high,
As I pull myself up from this cold ground.
The dream I have awaken from, was a nightmare graceful and alluring.
Beckoning me,
I must get up, and stand in this darkness.
Until,
Until I find that light-
Shining in the darkness of my lonely heart.

Stronger

I am sinking further, though I wish not to.
I want to be the one who stands through it all-
even as the ground pulls me under.
To laugh in the face of hardship.
To gain the quality of perseverance,
I really want to be...
Stronger.

Fatal

Who is to stay?
In this place where there is nothing.
Where all there can be is a strive to be broken
To be left out in the open.
Yes broken.

Betrayed? Think not such things.
Tis not true I hath reason to believe.
Believe that this is merely a corruption of
Who is, who was, who never bore the eye of the seer.
Talking in riddles, can you understand dear?
Withstand the scorching anger, if you can.

This is a reprimand.
Act as if nothing is wrong.
Smile sweetie it will all be over once your gone.

Knife that grazes, cuts your cheek.
My darling I'm sorry I missed the threads of red underneath.
That cool pale skin, the blood flowing within.
Cut it, cut,
Bleed.

Can you still breathe?
Should I cut deeper?
LAUGH, I command thee to do this for me.
Kissing your cheek, biting at it-
Vampire you say?
No darling.
I am a in-sane.
You see?

My lip is dripping with the velvet of your gashed cheek.
Would you like some?
Yes, I can share.
Open your mouth-
Yes that's a dear.

Psychotic gleam in these eyes-
You try to pry, the dagger from my cold grip, but my sweet you cannot escape this.
Taste the bliss-

This is my fatal kiss.

Haywire

Images, images deep in my mind.
Killing me, killing me without another a drop of blood.
Am I slowly losing this war?
No, the battle, the war is lost.
Has been since I entered this battleground.

Emptiness lingers, in a space, void that cannot be filled-
God filled the other, or he continues to.
I cannot think like this.
This torture some feeling deep inside my mind?
No, not there, for it was there I would be visited by thoughts most unkind
In my unconsciousness.

Where I long for something I can never have.
Because that is the fate bestowed upon me.
Is this fair? Fair to even begin to think like this?
I think not, but it is not meant to be,

Notice,
Notice-
Stop!
Silence your fingers,
Another sentence more and thy might hath revealed thine
Most ashamed thoughts.

Thoughts that cause us chaos.
Yes, sweet chaos builds up steadily.

Break into pieces,
I feel I will.
Never think.

I never stop.

Thinking of you.
Where you are.

Silence! Treacherous fingers!
By the damned you betray me so!

Cut.

Other

On the other side,
I will write.
On the other side,
You will see,
All that there is to me.

Here I am silent,
Here I am kind.
Here you are blind.

We are all, valentines
Kept in the hearts of all who care about us.
Friends, companions.
Where is there to turn next?

Facial expressions that lack the true nature.
For secretive beings are we.
Am I.

Closed.

Lucid

I must know if I stand here idly
Will thou ever see me?
I am fading more with each thought,
I know I cannot.

Yet, still I do.

Awakened in my dreams, turned nightmares.
I do miss thee.

Chosen

There is a thought in the midst
Tucked away beyond the chaos, deep in the abyss.
A decision must be met, with unwavering confidence.

It must be met.

A smile as sweet, seen only once or so.
Eyes like that of the seas, mesmerizing.
A choice to be made.

Which one? Dost thou love?
Art thou lost amid thy own mind's
Madness?

Discontentment?

Or merely the third is what captures thy deepest void.
Within the folds of of fabric surrounding the walls of thy heart,
Is the voice of the one thy has chosen, yet-

Tis not meant to be.
For thy ist but a common flower amongst the brightly colored orchids.
Not in appearance, but in appeal.

The voice will never hear thy.

So, tis best thou returns to I.
I will never forsake thee.

Thou and Me,
Tis all I shalt ever need.

Ground

Possessed by an unforeseen force.
Broken words mean nothing.

Valiant effort-
Loss.

Failure is all that's left of the one who
Could never stand on their own.

Ground shakes no longer, instead it pulls one under.
Breaking that poor sadistic soul's grinning nature-
With pain beyond imagination.

See

In this world,
There are those who see.
And those who can see.

Forget all you know.
Yes, forget it all.
For you cannot see, if you are who see.
Open your eyes unto me.

Realize the truth is what you seek.
Hear the voices of those you'd never believe-
Singled out, singled out.
You must believe, without a doubt.

That you were singled out,
That you were found,
That you are not the only one.

There are few,
There are some.
Here, close to you.

They are those who can see.
The questions is...

Are you?

Known, Was Known

The theme of the day,
Is imagination's image.
Imagine a world where all is as was known.

Can you see it?
Daylight savings, measured by the light's last rays.
Time stopped merely because it was thought to be stopped.

Death, a reality.
Life, an illusion.

Everything that is known,
Was known.
No longer the same.
Grape vines on the land-
Swirled around that vineyard fence.

Cart full of rainbows-
No silly, the one's from the sky.

Faerie dust, and wishes granted.
Because all that is known,
Was known.

A Dollar A Day

A dollar a day,
That all he needs.

To make a living he needs,
He pleads.
Just a dollar a day.

He's drunk again, doesn't realize
His wife left him.

He doesn't know what happened.

Years have passed since that day.
Still he will say,
"A Dollar A Day"
In his drunk stupor,
Vision hazed.

Fifteen years old,
Didn't realize he was cold.
Cold as ice in that snow.

Picked up off the streets,
Dressed, nice- neat.
Cleaned up and ready for the week.

That was his past-
In the end he fell back.

To that bottle,
He couldn't be held back.
50 years old.
Out in the cold.

This drink was his last.

Just A Poem

These feelings,
This thought that haunts.
Far away in that deep valley of lies.

Herald to the coming of the end.
Alone, my sweet.
Alone.

Take me home.

Drive me crazy.

Spin me 'round until my vision gets hazy.

Calling, calling,
Waiting, waiting.

Dark 2

Glowing dim light is ever brighter in this dark.
I want to hold it tighter and never let go as I fall deep into this shadow.
I am light, I am dark-
Twilight being from the moon's waning rays.

These are my feelings of the past.
The feelings that haunt me in my sleep.
The ones I long to never speak.

My voice is quiet, my voice is weak.
I wish to say I can no longer be,
That person that was all that they could try and be,
An  image, a fake, a dream of me,
The way you wanted that which was not me

I wanted you to want me but you could not see.
This is the day in my heart where I am lost in the dark,
You return always on this day-
wiping everything else, everyone else away gone.

You take me away.
On this day, always.