Revisited

Heart, this is me.
I speak here freely.
Thoughts and dreams
They flee.

Fleeting never? Always moving.
In my mind in my soul.
Choking my every breath.
I cannot lye down to rest.

There is nothing more frightening-
Not knowing, not telling.

Future is bright, that is what I keep thinking.
Yet, nothing is moving and each day
I am sinking.
Thinking to myself, it will change-
For I will change it.

But doubt plagues my every move,
Pinning me down in one swift hand.
"You cannot outrun what you know I have planned"
Fail.
Failure
Tis what I am.

That is what He says to me,
It is what I will not accept.
What I cannot accept.
But fear I will soon.

"For so I will be gone tomorrow "
A lie, I am already gone.

"For my will power is not strong"
Another lie, for I have lived this long.
On will alone, driving me to live.
And live for me.

Doubt, like the Hell I have always known-
Plagues me, but it does not let go.