Fade

Fade unto me,
Only me.
For me.
I long for thee.
Only thee.
Save me, my lovely memory.

Tale

Spread cheer, spread cheer.
Happy days are here!
In this night was light born,
Years, years ago.
Tales of old, still told-
Handed down, passed around.
Joyous occasions filled with never ending innovations.
On how to bring together a Fam-ily.
To make children smile through out the years,
Remember they are children,
And only children.
Let their minds dream of sweetness and purity of this world.
For they are the key-
To its future destiny.

What is this feeling I feel?
This vast emptiness once again.
What reason?
What purpose?
Why is it filling me now?
Is it something from the past.

Sanity

Exhilarating, this demon suffocating me.
Was I wrong to resist?

Resist this forbidden bliss?
I think I was.

No, I wasn't

Conflictual thoughts plague my mind,
Countering each other out. I don't understand where I'm breaking.

All I know is that I am.

Silence presses down on me.

What's wrong?
What's wrong?
This silence is not my friend.

Whispers are filling my head,
They are not my friends.
Fearing my mind.
Loving my fear.

Asylum,
Take me.
Take me
Away into that place I fear.
To your depths of sanity redeeming qualities.

Forget
Remember
Alone, again.
I have no clue why.
Was it my own doing?

No, I was always alone, always here-
Here in my mind's sanctuary.

They cannot see me.
For my eyes are shadowed by doubts.
I cannot trust.
I will not trust.

Enough.
Enough!

Sanity.
O' sanity.

Please leave me.

Further

I understand less and less.
Why I'm always never giving my best.

Settling for less.

Holding out for everyone else,
Never thinking much about myself.

Sacrifice.

Sacrifice, this time.

Selfish when my family calls-
I do not wish for it at all.

My eyes are blind, blind to all that is never seen.
Yes, this is under laying the darkness that is me.
Always was me.

Self-esteem,
It was never a treasure that belonged to me-
It was an item stolen from me.

I cannot run, I cannot live.
For I am not together in my head.
I'm wishing I was dead.

One minute passes,
Two hours more.
Here I stand.

Not knowing where to go.

Solitude

I am all I see,
In this world there is only me.

Me in this world.

This world that holds me.

Empty, emptiness feelings fill me.
I cannot break.

I was never whole.

I'm not known.

I'm a shadow.
Shadow of what I could be.

I reach out, but no one hears me.

Because in this world.
There is only me.

Anger

Let's talk this over.
Before we're forced down under-
By that anger.

Misdirected rage.
Sick of of all these broken days.
Follow no more.
I resent thee,
for resenting me.

Turn away, turn away-
You did so first.
Shut your mouth, shut your mouth.
That's all you say.

Go away, go away.
Violent child.
My broken down enemy-
No longer.

Friend in need.

Why must you turn from me?

Eternal

Let's say that things were meant to be this way.
That you were always meant to stand in my way.
To beat me down without ever realizing, or pretending that you don't.

It's killing me, you're killing me from the inside out.
You make me scream and cry out to someone, anyone to make you disappear.
You're a thorn in my side.

Breaking my skin.
Holding me down with the venom you pour in.
Dying, dying am I.

Within.

Your never-ending lies.

So full of it are you, so irritating too!
I jest with you, smile with you, laugh with you.
I want to hate you, oh the satin-filled visages I do.

Yet I can't...
Perhaps that is why I cannot escape you.

Slime

My mind is slipping into a state it should never enter.

Reject the warning call,
That one should even have these thoughts as all.

These slime-covered walls surround me.
And the rusted chains on the doors,
Distract me, with their sound.

That alluring call.

"Come to me."

"Fight no longer."

"Join me."

Halfway in...
I pull out,
The vision spins.
I freak out.

Destroy myself!

These slime-filled chambers,
Brushing my skin-
Leaving an imprint within,
Each. Small. Cell.

Evolve, evolve!

Let go-

"Join me."

Escape, I want to, but it is a bittersweet desire.
For it is desire that holds me here.
Desire of slime-covered walls.

Artists

I hold my life in large discretion.
Keeping that which I love a very big
Secret,
Won't let others know.

Won't let it show.
That me, inside- covered another.
The Thick glass of decit.

I'm sinking,
Sinking beneath.

See?

My feet are disappearing.
As I fall.

Fall.

Without knowing why.

I just do.
And I let myself too.
Such is the way of the artist.

We are always falling.

F
a
l
l
i
n
g
.
.
.

Into that state of unknowing.
Because,
We have to,

We need to-

We Must.

That is how life works for us.
That is how it will always...

Work.

For.

Us.

Medium

Knowledge for all and yet little is known.
We continue traveling in sections where little else is realized.
Little else makes sense.

Yes that is what we do,
All we do.
For that is all we can do.

Don't think,
Just write and write.
For all of time, let thou fingers
Be an instrument-
Used for all time.

Write, write, write.
In the differences between now and then.
Return from there to here and back again.

Medium of the pen.
Medium of the vision.
Pay no more attention to your life,
Let it pass by-
Simply pass by.

Drop that attitude, you hold so near.
Drop it and return.
Return here, for us.

Yes, only for us.

Cousin of insanity.

My love,
Forsake that which is known.

Drop, fall, into that which you don't recall.

November

It is near that time again.
That same time when life turns you 'round.
That month where you're down on the ground.
Beggin for life to begin.
Yes, that time...
Again.

Iced-over

New coldness in my fingers-
Sinking to my bones.
There, there!
It lingers!
A place, I cannot go.
This voice that reaches under,
The Darkness down below.
Here from there and after.
To there, I shall go.

The blood that runs through my veins,
Has frozen.
Frozen into snow- Ice.
A sheet of desperation.
For something to thaw it,
That liquid, a I feeling I wish to show.

Bland

I hold nothing in this illusion.
As I fall further from my eyes' domain.
It is nothing.
It is all.
Curse.
Curse...
Betrayal.

Shallow

We sit in our reminiscing,
Without thinking of it all that much.
Just drifting
From line to line.
Lots of lines
That do not add up at all.

Die

Fallen down.

Close my eyes. Shut them,
Shut them.

Don't look!

Hold my breath.

Die. Die. Die.

Succumb to the darkness...
You can't handle the light.
You tried, oh you tried.

You failed.
You're miserable, life is cruel.
You won't pick up the pieces. You don't want to.

You give up.

So...

Die!

Accept

I will run from that side.
that shameful side.
That has awakened.

Whispers that it's all okay-
But I won't accept that.

I can't accept that.

Dangerous, is thy mind.

White

The petals are falling,
Drifting slowly.
Descending to the endless white
That drenches the ground with its
Body.
Deep endless white.

That never fades, never goes away.
Only expands , from the floor to the walls.
And those petals stay,

There, they lay.
On the white floor.
Red-stain, yes the petals
Are like blood,
Speckled on the floor.

In this never-ending white.
That stretches from the ground,
And envelopes the identity of
Life's gentle sound.
While death looms no longer,
For all shadows are gone.
Nothing left, nothing forgotten
In white's song.
All is, all gone.

Existence

Today I awoke.
With a distant memory.
A memory of you.
I began to question you.
Your existence and my eyes.

I fell away.
And I feared I'd never find you again.

I called to you.
And begged,
Begged you not to leave me behind.
In this world that had long forgotten who I was.

And you returned,
Returned before I could shed
The tears that I want to cry.

You returned to stay by my side-
To assure me,
You'd never desert me.

That you would be here always, always...

Here with me.

We

The unique existence.
Of those, like us.
Who dream into another realm.
And while awake we see what others cannot tell-
Are real, like us.
Who are like us, they are not
"It" but he, them, him.

We know them by name.
We have no shame,
Of seeing what what others would label
To be a sign that we are "insane".

Confused, mentally challenged, we see
What they choose not to.

Wait

We wait,
for the moment life is but a faded image.
Of what could have been,
and what was.
Where it takes one,
No one knows what to do,
Who to turn to,
Where to go.

They just pass by like the stepping stones of time.
Yes, those stones.

We, wait and wait.
Until we begin to forget,
What it is we were waiting for.
That is why we wait,
For what could have been,
And what was,
But never will again.

For we lost our faith from within.
Within those forgotten folds of time.

At a stand still.
For that day until,
We open up our
Closed.

Shut.

Sinless.

Heart's eyes.

Neglect

Sporadic meetings, clear thy vision,
And hold on to the past as if it were nothing,
But a fragment of shattered glass.
There is no reason that it must be done like this-
It just is, always has been.

No reason to alter such an old way.
When it's worked perfectly for so many days.
So many decades.
Let the past wither slowly, do not pick it up-
Let it sit.

For if you are cut by it.
You cannot be healed from its touch.
A burning scar will be left for here on after.

Let the past wither slowly,
And don't pick up its shattered pieces.
No matter how lonely.

Mirror

There in the secret garden,
Where I hold so little.
Of my sanity.
Breaking my life's vanity
Into fragments.

Thoughts

A discovery I have made.
About the ways of Humans.
Significant changes in their behavior,
Like a fever, only it's better.
For them to just hold on their own.
Is about as much danger as,
Leaving them alone
With thoughts,
Sweet thoughts.

It pulls them into chaos.
Whispers for them to disobey.
Play the Devil's dangerous game.
And eventually locking their souls away.

Dirt

The dirt is swallowing me.
Taking me under its surface-
This feeling is no longer,
Something that keeps me steady,
Something that keeps me sane.
I've become that solitary figure in the distance.
The one that can't be reached.
The one whose smile fades into a memory.
A memory of the old me,
The dead me.
The earth is swallowing me.
I cannot breathe.
This feeling, breaks me.

Midday

Midday, break off from the sun.
Twilight's gaze holds true.
The sun, moon, and you.

Folds

Awaken, spirit of old.
Forgotten and left, deep under the folds.
Long held in the new soul's- broken hands.
For the benefits of the world of man.
Breach the line.
That divides us in these neat folds.

rS Collection : Time, Twisted, Sacrifice & Isolate

Time

He will hold on,
Hold on to that which means the world to him.
Never let go.
So long, he hopes never to be alone-
To catch that sacred stone,
And to have it, all for his own.
With every breath he takes,
He wishes to hold it in his place.
That sacred place, of Old.
Yes, that is what he wishes for.
To hold the that he doth adore.
His amor-

Twisted

Chaotic life, twisted nature.
Hold that mind up in that stature.
He knows not what to do.
His thoughts, his heart,
Belong to you.
Only you,
His dear sister.

Sacrifice

A sacrifice
A lie
An illusion
Meant to die.
Only one simple solution.
Why? Ask why?
Take things the way you shoud.
Hold on to nothing.
Walk through that world's wood-
Let go,
Unknowing.

Isolate

Child of anger.
Child of hate.
Cling to the grudge that you feel.
Cling to your grief, sorrow-
Release!
That power locked with a key,
To kill.

Pinned

I want, I want, I want.
Want to live.
To make it to something.

I want, I want, I want recognition.
Ambition, slowly sucks my patience up.

A sitting duck.

This is terrible, terrible luck.

I cannot move, bound by,
This world's never ending
Groove.

Saying,

"Money."

"Money."

"Money I need from you."

I want to scream, and I do.
Scream at the walls of my small little room.

"I hate you!"

To the world.

To this idea.

"Money, money, money"

The only thing that will get us by.

"Money, money, we need from you"

Discard

Ignore the nagging memories.
Throw them in the cellar!
'Til the end of day.

Forever.

Reprimand

A reflection of myself,
Staring at the lies that make me up.

This puzzle that I am.
Lost in the dark of
Reprimand.

Far-off

Thank-you for this life, though it may be full of strife.
I will live it to its fullest.
With no regrets.
I will make it to my dream-
Yes that dream I hold.

So far it seems,
Is that dream.
That I long to reach.

I'd like to transfer,
To a place not so far from here.
Where I can make it to that dream.
That...

Far-off

Dream.

Game

Isolation, you are to blame.
All because of your thirst for fame.
A game, no one can play.
A game written only in name.
Only in those who lost what

Made.

Them.

Sane.

Dive

Graduate from your feelings.
Dive into nothingness.
Hold on to your breath.

Sink...

Sink....

Drown.
In that nothingness.

Neither

Cold like Ice.

Warm like Fire.

Together I am, neither...

Lake

Like the lake that was set to hold all their secrets.
A life of fear held them here, and only here.

This lake of secrecy.
Don't talk, stay strong.
Let the current pull you under.

Conscious

Holding my conscious state in my hand,
As I head further into dream land.
A land of much danger, of adventure and hook hands.
I love thee

My dream sweet

Sweet

Sweet

Dream.

Detest

Fed up with these lies.
So amusing are their eyes.
Must they hold me down,
with such devil driven drives?

I work, they fry.
I read, they rip.

Rip the pages of that which I writ.

Deem me unworthy to gaze upon their scaly flesh.

I speak this,

"Detest you I do"

For thy be a scared little witch!

Malicious

Save me from this place,
A place where I cannot see.
This place of angry debris.

The grudge.

The madness.

Malicious intent.

Cry out, cry out.

Vent.

Obsession

Obsession, obsession. Fake denial.
Singing a tune with no lyrics.
Holding my mind beneath the desire.
Don't slip.

Please don't slip.

God, Lord, do not let it slip.

Into such a place as this.

Obsession, obsession.

Valor, charm.

Magnet, alarm.
Deep thoughts to oblivion,

Obsession, obsession.

Possession.

Chalkboard

Chalk the board,
Full of scratches, patches.
Of lines.

Never fading, cracks in its surface.

Break.

Break.

Break.

In half...

Never turn back.

Here

Forgotten in dreams.
Living in the past.
A memory "here"

Gone. Just. Like. That

Forgotten, forgotten.
Broken in half.

A memory.

Gone...

Just.

Like.

That.

Move

The day has started.

The way is set.

Time to open one's eyes...
And start ahead.

Jumbled

Empty, jar of nothingness.
"Verily thou has seen it?"

"Gravel in my eyes.
I see not a thing."
Said the woman.

Say ye will live in that world between.
I will merely stay.

God

Dare to live the good life.
Dare to see that silver lining, high above in the clouds.

Yes, you dare.
Yes, you care.
Yes, he was always there.

No, you'll never find something as rare.

As his everlasting care.

Dream

Long awaited sleep...
Beckons me beneath, its grace.

Bow before it.
"Give unto me"

...

Your Dreams.

Sweet.
Precious.
Thing.

Surface

The sky seems to fade.

Fade. Fade. Fade.
Into a brighter day.

Left to stare upon its surface,
Just the surface of its depth.

As the watching wept.
Gazing longingly at the sky's surface...

Of its continuous depth.

Slipped

What happened?

To that feeling?

The feeling called, love.

I cannot find it.
Gone. Is it.
Slipped away.

That devotion, that deep connection.
Severed, ripped, by me.

Something inside me snapped.
I cannot get it back.

No.
That feeling called "Love"

I've thrown away such a useless thing as that.
Dreams. Dreams.

That is all I have...
Dreams. Dreams.

All I need.

Down

Fake tears.
Roll, down, down, down.

My face.

A disgrace.

Vixen of empty space.
Sail, far, far, away.

Eternity

Clouds of night.
Clouds of day.

One is brightly colored and full of gay atmosphere.
One is cold, clear and surrounded by stars.

Sun.
Moon.

Sun is fire.
Moon is ice, water.

A planet of green, tan, and red.
Different shades.
Different terrains.

Flowers that bloom in the day.
Flowers that bloom in the night.
Two kinds that hold that same feeling to them.

Life.

Everything, life.

Earth.

Universe.

Heaven-

Eternity.

Insecurity

Secrecy, secrecy.
Lips shut tight.

Whispering, whispering.
Eyes following closely.

Fault is yours, fault is yours.
Take responsibility.

You must.

Must.

Learn to trust.
To lean upon another.
Seek comfort for yourself,
But not from yourself.

Stop.
Listen.

That which is broken you must mend.
Shatter your heart.
For another, let it be...

Shattered.

Reach

In my waking dream.
I reach for thee.

But so long as I sleep, never can I reach.

Thee.

Thy are too far, from my everlasting peace.
Thy will not come to me.

Never me.
Dream, dream, sleep.

My love,
That I hath never seen.

Time

Time, time...

Time is a thin line.
A thread never ending,
Unraveling forever, continuous...

Infinitive.

Like the water that flows through a river.
Sliding across the pebbles in its way, but never changing direction.
A current never ending, cycling over and over in a circle.

Repetitive. Repeating.

On.

And.

On.

It goes.

Time, time...

Is never ending.

It goes.

Goes.

On.

-This poem is dedicated to A.H aka: Ice...-

Lie

I've often told myself.
That everything I say, is a lie.

A lie in the form of truth.

How is that possible?
You ask.

Simple, making your heart believe your lie makes it a truth.
Because you've made yourself believe it is truth.

But in the end,
It's still,

Just.

A.

Lie.

Sleepless

An illusion of what is known.
A dream of a nightmare...

In a nightmare.

Tell me. is it normal?

To not want to sleep?
To stay awake, as long as one can.

Keeping your mind working consiciously,

Fearing the moment you close your eyes.
Fearing what may lay.

There.
In your dreams of dark.

Dark.

Night.

Tread

So, you want a new world to live in?...
Go ahead, reach for it.

You won't, will you?

Diagnosis- Fear.

You fear, that which you wish for so dearly.

Rush. Forward.
Take hold of it.
That drive to that world.

You can't find it.

Secretly hidden from you.
Lost in the back of your mind.

Endless time.

Drink

Drink up, drink up
These surroundings.
Hold them in your mind's eyes.

Lose your will to fly.

Breaker of angels.

Hold still, hold long.
As the temptress of evil sings her song.

So long.
So long.

My fair fair father.
Mother, brother.

Daughter of the mind's eyes.
No choice.
No life.
Die.

Sound

A haunting melody....

Hear it?

Can you hear it?
The sound of our past.

It's fading, fading...
To a memory.

A memory to be cherished,
For years to come.

We live each day with promises of new.
Forgetting the one's we've already kept.
Storing them away in the back of our minds.

Accomplished. Ours. Forever.

Always.

This memory, a link to the past. Will now rest. Here, in my heart.

That is now opened up once more...

We go through each day.
As if it's just any other, but is it really?
Should we not live in a randomized style?
Take any chance thrown at us for something new?
And interesting?

This memory, it's here. Here with me, and only me. Of you...

We say to ourselves, to not cry.
To be strong, but crying,
We forget is a strength as well.

Not forgotten, this memory. But no longer living as strongly as it had...

We cry.
Cry for loss.
Cry for gain.
Cry.

But,
But.

We always move forward
I move forward.

To new beginnings.
And slowly form the inevitable ending.

The beginning.
Beginning.

Safe

Drastic measures are taken.

Taken to hold my sanity, hold me here....
In place.

This place.

Safe.

From what?
I know not.

I never asked.
I just let them put me here, away.
All to calm their fears.

Dry their tears.
Live long years of gay lifetimes.

Forsake these unspoken words on my lips.
Scraped away, a scab...

Bleeding.

Not knowing why, never looking them in the eye.

Dropping my head to ground.
Hide. Hide.

My displeased frown.
Diseased state of obedience.

Father, why can't you see me?

My only words...
No answer.

Left in the dark.
And still they say.

You.

Are.

Safe.

Diamond

Run, run.

As far as my feet can take me.
I will never be caught, for I do not wish to be.

Run, run...

From you.
From that forbidden side of me.

Desire- poison, no longer will I fall to it.

Eyes opened.
Mouth shut.

A diamond that will stay lodged in the earth's crust.
For hands may try to uproot it, to claim it.

But still the diamond will stay, stubborn.
Hidden away.

Untarnished.

Crushed

I write for hours in my head.
Expressions written within my eyes…
For all time
About love and how much I despise it.
And I suffer under its grasps

Over
And
Over

But is it love?
Or lust?
Or simply just a very hard to get over crush?

I would like someone to tell me, so I can get away- run away.
And avoid ever turning down that road that led me here.
Led me here in my sorrow.
A sorrow that rips me in two,
With thoughts I feel mustn’t be thought.

But I succumb anyway, to these feelings.
To these thoughts,
My fingers knowing only how to express these things in words.
Words that don’t even do it justice.
Feigned smiles, of jokes and teasing s.
When really I just want to roll up in a ball and stare vacantly
At the blood under my fingernails.

From, those thoughts
Those feelings,
That never leave me.

No matter how much I chase them away.
They only get clearer, blinding me, unable to see clearly.
But it’s not tears that cause it.
It’s

Love.
Lust.
Crush.
Curse.
My downfall.

You.

Twilight

I wait.
Wait for you, where ever you are.

Who are you?

I do not know, cannot fathom an identity.

Cannot name a face, though we've met.

Day by day I wait, wait for you.
Thinking, you'll remember me, that you'll know my own identity.
But I've realized...

You cannot see me.